How do you have sex without having to sacrifice your time or your money, and without having to be committed to the other person?
Well you find someone you think is attractive and you say, “Hey, you want to be friends?” And if they say yes you say, “Ok great! And how about we add some benefits to that?”
Or what about if you already have a friend who you’re attractive to and you’ve been secretly thinking about having sex with this person for a while now but never dared to take that approach? You hit them up with a text saying “hey, wassup. So I’ve been thinking and… I think it’s time that we step up our friendship and make it beneficial, if you catch my drift.”
Now, there are 2 ways that this can go for each situation.
1. Your new friend could think that you’re an absolute creep and may either slap you or give you a “WTF” look and then walk away. Or…
2. They may find you attractive as well, and having someone to just mess around with may also be with their looking for. If so, congrats to you, and enjoy your fling for however long It may last.
But what about your friend that’s already a friend?
1. You may never get a response and your proposal will be the last message you ever see in that conversation. Either that or they may brush it off with a few “LOL’s”, or simply say, “not happening”, and will try to safely assume that you’re drunken texting. You’ve been curved either way.
I Just couldn’t resist with that one! But Back to it.
2. You could be lucky. Your friend may have had these same feelings all along but just like you, they never said anything. Or maybe this txt just made them think about it and they’re willing to sign the contract. The Friends with benefits contract.
Here are the rules and regulations that go along with this contract.
1. You must understand that the two of you are friends, not boyfriend and girlfriend. The word relationship is found nowhere in the FWB Contract besides when it’s assuring you not to have one.
2. It’s just sex, that’s all it is. Rough, ass smacking, fantasy fulfilling, 50 shades of Grey if you’re brave, sex. Go all out! Make love once, and you fuck it all up.
3. None of that, “What’s your favorite color?” “What’s your favorite restaurant?” and “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” Type of questions and discussions. This is the type of conversations that mixes up emotions and messes with people’s heads into believing that something that’s not going to be, will be in the perhaps, near future. It makes the other person involved think; this is a pathway to a relationship, not a FWB situation.
But is it really just a FWB situation? What’s the one thing we can neither control nor avoid? Feelings and emotions. Once they come, you must make a decision on what you’re going to do with these feelings, and if your decision can be backed up with enough strength to handle whatever outcome.
First off, why do women agree to a FWB contract in the first place? It’s not in a woman’s nature to just have sex with someone she has no type of feelings or interests for, and then to keep having sex without getting emotionally involved. Women are not like us men. We can have sex with a person today, probably another person that same night, and move on to a new name tomorrow. Sad to say but the truth is the truth; we can be savages, but not her. No, if a woman does come across as a savage, there’s a man behind her actions. Either she’s been severely hurt before and trying to pay back an ex with revenge by using her body, or maybe she has never had a man in her life and is searching for that figure the only way she learned how, or she has a lack of funds and there’s a man aiding her lifestyle with a catch. It’s never just the woman.
Still, why the agreement to FWB? Well, if it isn’t to get back at an ex or that she’s never had a real man in her life to teach her better, then it’s not really a FWB contract for her, she’s just letting you believe that. “What? I just knew it! I knew that it was too good to be true.” Indeed it is.
Come on guys! Women are emotional creatures, their nature is to love and cater to their man, not just fuck around and not catch any emotions. No matter what they try to convince you. If she consistently texts you before booty call hours and you have lengthy conversations which do not concern her being horny or sex in general, but rather conversations which would be held if you were courting each other, she’s not here just for the sex bro. The shark… is on the hunt!
So what do you do? YOU RUN! Lol, no, well, that could be an option. But anyway, you must pay attention to the signs of attachment. If FWB is really want you want, then you would have to do what it takes to make sure she never see’s you as boyfriend material. Be an asshole. Yeah, that means you cannot respond to every single text, offer her a shot, not juice, and get familiar with one line responses. In no such way can you portray the nice guy image because then, you would look more dateable than just a late night fuck.
Listen brothers, although the whole idea of having sex with no strings attached can be great and is the desire for most of us, it’s definitely a dangerous thing to get involved with. And although we may love to deny it, eventually we too can get caught up in our feelings and then it’s the whole “what do you do next” scenario, because it’s hard to tell what the other person is thinking when there was a mutual agreement made. Maybe the two of you are scared of speaking out the true feelings that you may have for each other, but if you do catch feelings, let it be known immediately! Holding them in will only end up in yours getting hurt and you being left disappointed.
Unless you are sure you can handle it and you can make sure that she never see’s you as a potential lifetime partner, AVOID IT AT ALL COSTS!
But hold up, don’t get me wrong now, there have been relationships created from FWB situations. Although the agreement was to only have sex, both persons were able to find things in each other that they liked, the sex ended up being great and they were both very satisfied, conversations, then dates started to happen, and then BANG! The FWB contract was torn up and commitment became the new agreement…
Just know what you’re doing.