Loving you is complicated, but I rather remain with you while you piss me off, than for our happiness to forever be, just a memory.
In life, there is a balance of good and bad. You can’t have the good without having the bad, you can’t have sunshine without a little rain, in a pile of good apples, there’s at least one that’s spoiled. These are all metaphors that each of us has had our share of experiencing in our lives. The key to enjoy life as it brings both the good and the bad, is to not let that one bad apple stop you from your satisfactory of all the good ones.
The good and bad principle applies heavily in relationships, whether the relationships is a friendship or an intimate one. Just as much as there are good times, there will be bad times which has an actual purpose of testing the persons involved in the relationship, faith for one another.
It can be difficult. There may come a time when you cannot stand the person you are involved with and you even start to question why the hell did you even get involved with them in the first place. Perhaps there is a situation going on with you right now as you are reading this. You may even call it cliche if I tell you the best way to resolve a current aggravating situation, is to remember how it was before the feelings that you feel now, came into existence. Well, think about it this way, there was once a time when the things that bother you now, had no control over your emotions yet they still existed, you just didn’t think of them as a problem.
When it rains it pours, and we’re all miserable. When the sun shines, we’re happy, and we forget that it even rained.
Nobody likes to stand in the rain, as soon as we start to feel the piglet drops on our head, we flee for shelter and dare not to go back outside, we say, “I’ll return when it’s clear.” Oh how alive is this in most relationships today, when many of us flee from our person as soon as we feel a peck of discomfort or dissatisfaction. I know, it doesn’t seem to be so easy to maintain your love when on the balance scale,during the moment at hand, the good is outweighed by the bad. The problem there is the thought that, anything worth having or valued is achieved easily. The fault in many of us is in that wrong inquiry.
It is quite understandable though, why we tend to flee when unpredictable situations start raining down on our relationships, because we’re so used to the joyfulness we were having, that when a relationship has arrived at its troubled times, we immediately forget how to love.
We forget to understand. We forget to consider the feelings of the other person. We forget about all the things we seen and felt about the other person, before they became seriously involved in our lives, the times when their presence alone whether physically or virtually, gave us butterflies. Being this forgetful, may land us in a predicament which won’t acknowledge until it becomes something we regret, such as loosing the person from our lives completely.
Here’s how to avoid this:
Allow idle time for the heat to wine down.
Be still and calm your own thoughts, so that you may consciously plan out what you’re going to say with consideration for how it’s going to affect the current situation, before you speak.
Before you acknowledge to the other person of their own flaws, look at your own. Recognize what you should have done vs. what you shouldn’t have done, and bring that to conversation.
Repel yourself from making judgement.
Discuss the problems along with possible solutions.
Do not fall victim to peer pressure of those who speak against the longevity of your relationship.
Think of something to say, like a happy memory, that will make the both of you smile.
Understand the other persons frustration.
Plan out together, a right action to both avoid a similar situation, and a plan of action to avoid things that may create similar feelings that was brewed upon the current conflict.
Go out for ice cream.
And it’s quite simple. We’re all human beings therefore we all have emotions and we’re all going to have to deal with conflict, the task is to not let the conflict, whatever it is, ruin you and what you love.
For the next time it rains…
Just take out your umbrella.